Today’s CashGordon fiasco has got me thinking about the point of a social media campaign and reinforces the point that simply getting your brand or campaign mentioned on Twitter is not an end in itself.

For Tories, the CashGordon strategy was based around creating something that would inflame people on Twitter, and then watching as the #CashGordon hashtag began to trend highly, regardless of the actual merits of the campaign or content of the CashGordon site (in this case, Charlie Whelan and the Unite union’s supposed hold over Gordon Brown and Labour policy). This much was admitted by Tory blogger Samuel Coates, who said on Twitter earlier:

Sitting back and marvelling at #CashGordon – we had an open hashtag policy, and have not changed that today, for a reason!

Other examples of self-satisfied gloating on Twitter earlier today came from the Tories’ in-house “online communities editor” Craig Elder, who praised Labour and lefty-types for drawing attention to the CashGordon site:

@psbook Such an own goal on your part, repeatedly drawing attention to our campaign. Please continue.

What was actually happening here was not any discussion of Whelan or Unite. Instead, there was lots of criticism for CashGordon. The Guardian had noticed that the site used a template that had been developed in the US as a campaign tool against US healthcare reform. The phrase also started to trend highly because people quickly realised that since the Twitter stream on the CashGordon website was unmoderated, you could write embarrassing things about the Tories (or indeed childish swearwords, or even adverts) and get them on to the CashGordon site in real time, provided they were tagged #CashGordon (see image, top left).

Then someone realised that the site could be exploited by script commands. Pretty soon, CashGordon was redirecting to a site saying “David Cameron is a c**t” in 48-point type, a Rick Astley video on YouTube and some OAP porn (link is safe for work). The site was subsequently taken down and remains offline. All in all, then, this was fairly obviously a total embarrassment, a mega PR fail and a terrible idea very poorly executed.

Yet, after a couple of hours, Elder and Coates reappeared on Twitter, still maintaining that all was well. After I sarcastically observed that CashGordon was “a social media triumph”, Elder replied to me like this:

@davidquinn Can’t disagree with that – it’s still trending in the UK…

How stupid do you have to be to think that just because a word or phrase trends on Twitter, that automatically makes it a good campaign? It obviously doesn’t, and to think otherwise is simply confusing the medium with the message.

I realise that as an employee of the Conservative party, Elder’s job is to talk up its “successes” against all rational logic but, really, does he actually believe that this idea was executed in a way that was positive for the Tories? His argument, and that of some other social media practitioners, seems to be that if you get something trending, you’ve automatically “won”. But in this case people aren’t talking about Unite, the BA strike or Charlie Whelan (the point of the Tory campaign). Instead, they’re talking about how a flagship Tory website has been forced offline in embarrassing circumstances – and having a bloody good laugh about it. How is this a win?

Using the Tory rationale, Nestlé had a good day on Friday, when the company’s name began to trend on Twitter following claims by Greenpeace about the slaying of orang-utans during Nestlé’s harvesting of palm oil, which was compounded by Nestlé’s disastrous intervention on Facebook, in which it told people to stop using its logo. In reality, of course, the brand has taken a dive and the thing is already a case study in how not to “do” social media.

Looking back, if it’s remembered at all, I very much doubt CashGordon will be seen as a brilliant use of Twitter as a political campaigning medium. Instead, it will be seen as a byword for total technical incompetence and a fundamental misunderstanding of the point of social media.

Footnote: In case you’re wondering, and since there’s an election brewing, this blog is not pro-Labour, nor is it pro- any other political party.

Yes, Tony Wilson was great, Blue Monday is an incredible pop song and that anecdote about the Happy Mondays’ crack-based vacation in Barbados is truly one that unites us as a nation. We get it. We got it some time ago, in fact. But someone really needed to point out that the Peter Hook-backed FAC251 club sounds like a criminally boring money-making, credibility-losing enterprise, while Delphic are an average band whose claim to the title of “the new New Order” smacks of a desperate record company marketing person’s unconvincing hard sell. (Edit: Having listened to the album I’ve actually decided I really like Delphic. The New Order link is possibly more a result of lazy journalism than deliberate marketing.)

As FUC51 puts it:

While slating Liverpool for being a Beatle-museum, Mancs are still pretending it’s 1988. Look around the city and you’re given constant reminders of Factory Records, The Hacienda, The Stone Roses, The Smiths, Acid House, NewOrderJoyDivision and… you get the idea.

Our aim is to act as snipers to this relentless wave of borrowed nostalgia that continues to make stars of Madchester hangers-on and people steeped in yesteryear.

Something went a bit weird when these hangers-on became part of the Manchester establishment. Despite coining the slogan Original Modern, the council and its public sector marketing quangos are obsessed with the myth-making. They recruited Hacienda designer Ben Kelly to design the corporate stand at the MIPIM property fair in the south of France a couple of years ago, at which copies of CDs containing various baggy-era classics were handed out to the greying property developers in beige suits and Ray-Bans who gravitate there each March. The council’s recruitment of Peter Saville as creative consultant at a salary of a hundred and twenty grand a year is also, if we’re being completely honest, a little bit silly.

So down with this sort of thing. Let’s all listen to Autechre.

Hat tip (at risk of turning this blog into a Stockport-based blog love-in) to Marple Leaf for pointing me in its general direction.

[Game publisher] EA decked out the Last Stop garage, which lies between Stroud Green and Finsbury Park, in military camouflage material and parked an army jeep on the forecourt. Assistants dressed as soldiers carried mock machine guns as they doled out [free] petrol to the customers.

Hmm. That’s all very well but I guess it wouldn’t have gone down too well among local residents and I’d be amazed if it hasn’t angered politicians.

But the stunt caused fury amongst local residents and has angered politicians.

Liberal Democrat MP for Hornsey and Wood Green, Lynne Featherstone, said: “Trying to recreate Venezuelan-style fuel riots on the streets of London is completely irresponsible and downright dangerous.

“Whilst a lucky few might have got some free petrol, hundreds of local residents have faced misery on their daily journeys this morning. They deserve an apology for being the victims of such an ill-thought out media stunt.”

And perhaps an apology from their MP for blindly contributing to the free PR the stunt has generated.

First out of the trap was the Sunday Times and its new slogan “For all you are“. Gone is the stridently definitive (and memorable) former slogan, “The Sunday Times is the Sunday papers”, to be replaced some assonance-heavy psycho-babble that merges several syllables into a sleepy non-word. It’s a hit!

Orange, the mobile phone company, has since launched its similarly knowing “I am” campaign. If you Google “I am”, Orange is the first (sponsored) search result. The website elaborates:

I am who I am because of everyone. I am my mate who never speaks and the one who won’t shut up. I am my older sister and unfortunately my younger brother. I am all the girls I’ve kissed and all the ones I will.

I consider myself to be reasonably culturally savvy. I realise that you don’t need a big, heavy-handed pack shot in order to sell a mobile phone network. I’m not, you know, that old. But, really, this is bullshit.

Finally, and most amusingly, is Vision Express, whose new advertising slogan is “What would you like to see?” Just as Larry David considers himself a member of the “bald community“, I consider myself a member of the “glasses-wearing community” and this phrase appears to have been written by some patronising little tossbag with 20:20 vision.

What would I like to see? Well, my hand in front of my face would be a start. Believe it or not, I don’t wear glasses because I like to see things. It’s because, on a day-to-day basis, I need to see things. And the fact that it costs three hundred quid to buy glasses at Vision Express for that simple privilege simply adds insult to four-eyed injury.

Anyway, in honour of the new language of advertising, the tagline of this blog (top left) has today been changed to something more emotionally engaging. I hope you like it.

The subtext here – well, actually, it isn’t a subtext, it’s entirely spelt out – is that people who like football are spiky-haired gobby little oiks who deserve to be covered in piss and horse snot by those who favour “proper sports” like rugby union and three-day eventing.

In the latest advert (above), which was released this week on the website wesupporteventing.com, I can’t work out what the footballing bloke is supposed to have done wrong, other than be a little bit cheeky to “Her Royal Pin-up Zara Philips” (copyright Daily Mail) while expressing a mild ignorance towards equestrianism. Perhaps the reason the horse gets angry is because the miscreant doesn’t doff his top hat, shuffle up on his knees and address the 12th in line to the throne in suitably deferential terms.

The ultimate insult comes when the idiotically anthropormorphised horse concocts a condescending snort of laughter – literally a bray – of the type heard from Land Rover drivers when they drive the wrong way at speed down a one-way street and mow down a couple of seven year olds.

A previous advert shows the same footballing bloke getting his face rubbed in dog piss as sniggering Josh Lewsey looks on. All in all, an entirely confusing and self-defeating piece of marketing.

Spotted via Motortorque.

]]> http://www.wordsdept.co.uk/2008/07/19/ignorant-about-equestrianism-like-football-land-rover-thinks-you-should-be-covered-in-horse-snot/feed/ 0 http://www.wordsdept.co.uk/2008/07/14/dave-watch-alibi-scotch-egg/ http://www.wordsdept.co.uk/2008/07/14/dave-watch-alibi-scotch-egg/#comments Mon, 14 Jul 2008 20:12:16 +0000 David Quinn http://www.wordsdept.co.uk/?p=249 Following the successful launch of the exciting and dynamic television channel Dave, whose rapidly rising audience share is wholly reliant on endless Top Gear repeats, the bosses of UKTV are at it again.

Having signed the incredibly talented Richard and Judy (Alan Partridge and Lynn) to the network, they have decided the change the name of one of their other channels to Watch. According to the Guardian, David Abraham, the boss of UKTV, says the reason for this is to ensure the channel does

like it says on the tin.

Forgive me for pointing out the effing obvious, but couldn’t the same style-over-substance branding crackpotism be applied to any TV channel, since, in essence, all television is “watched”? Radio 4 has so far resisted the temptation to change its name to Listen but it can, surely, only be a matter of time.

At the same time as Watch hits the airwaves, UKTV is launching Alibi (the new name for UKTV Drama) and GOLD (the new name for UKTV Gold and supposedly an acronym standing for “Go On Laugh Daily”. Hnnnggh). UKTV Food is the obvious candidate for similar treatment in the future. But which name will they opt for? Scotch Egg? Spam Fritter? Or perhaps that perennial British favourite Tikka Masala Pot Noodle? We may never know.

Meanwhile, UKTV’s own in-house branding department is to be renamed Bollocks – to ensure it does what it says on the tin, natch.

I suppose it ties in with the artwork for their new album, which comprises an 1830 painting called “Liberty Leading the People” by Eugene Delacroix, with the album title Viva La Vida scrawled over it in the style of a political graffito (ooh, edgy!). But sorry to point this out: Isn’t the idea of a stylist decking a band out to match the “theme” of the album cover a bit, you know… naff?

You can imagine the thought process: The last album, X&Y, with its enigmatic, mathematical title and abstract artwork, was perceived as cold and mechanical. So this time, they’ve decided to go all emotional and heartfelt and they’ve raided the fancy dress box. This is what passes for creativity.

Aside from the music, which, from the two tracks I heard on telly, plumbs new depths of terribleness, Coldplay represent the axis at which rock and big business cross paths. “Private equity guitar music” adequately describes the genre.

Coldplay dressing up and “having fun” in the style of Parisian revolutionary (new) Romantics is not a convincing sell. It’s like trying to relaunch a Volvo estate as a cool choice of car or a job at McDonalds as a worthwhile career. It doesn’t wash. In fact, the whole contemptible enterprise is mesmerising for its piss-awful idiocy.

Aside from the font, and the poster’s use of exclamation marks in inappropriate places in order to denote a false wackiness, there are other clues to the film’s status at the front of the poo queue. Mackenzie Crook, in an unflattering woolly hat, takes the lead role, which is hilarious in its own right (I mean, look at him for Christ’s sake). It’s got that bloke who plays the annoying fat bastard bank clerk in the Nationwide TV adverts in it. Kerry Katona also makes an appearance. This is the territory we’re in.

I can’t imagine Spielberg was banging down the door.

Then there’s the storyline, which involves a Tube driver who kills two people after they jump under his train. He finds out that if three die in such circumstances within a month he gets pensioned off with a massive pay-off. So he goes on the hunt for a suicide case to help him out. Hmm, a rich vein of comic territory there, no doubt about it. No wonder Aslef, the train drivers’ union, wasn’t very keen. (They hadn’t seen it either but had, like me, noticed the font.)

Peter Bradshaw in the Guardian gave it one star and speculated that a bizarre shift in setting to the Lake District halfway through could have been a condition of funding. Seriously. Mark Kermode on Five Live yesterday was similarly baffled and described the film as “just awful”. He repeated the phrase about seven times, appearing to exaggerate the word “just” rather than “awful”, for some reason.

Neither mentioned the font. However, Kermode got into a discussion with Simon Mayo about the word “Lacanian”. Mayo didn’t know what it meant, neither did I and neither did Mayo’s newsreader, who got embroiled in the debate. Turns out it relates to the psychiatrist Jacques Lacan and formed the basis of an allegedly hilarious joke in Basic Instinct 2. Which caused me to wonder how many people in the world fulfill both of the following criteria:

(a) Paid to watch Basic Instinct 2 at the cinema

(b) Are familiar with the work of Jacques Lacan

There really can’t be that many, can there?

Rather than comment on the financial issues to hand (for example, the purchase at 135p of almost £1bn-worth of shares now worth just 77p), on-message chief executive Jeremy Darroch was heard to explain that subscriptions to Sky are available at a very reasonable rate and, in fact, its combined packages for TV, phone and broadband can sometimes be considerably cheaper than obtaining these services separately.

Funnily enough, News 24 didn’t run the interview. But I, for one, was gripped. Especially since Sky’s marketing department has been ramming my letter box with leaflets banging on with that same “key message” for several weeks – including one this very day.

Sadly for Sky, things may get worse before they get better. If the Competition Commission gets its way and Sky is forced to reduce its holding in ITV to 7.5%, it stands to lose up to £250m because of the difference in the price paid for the shares and what it can flog ‘em for. Still, as long as it doesn’t affect future series of Project Catwalk, I’m happy.

These stickers are one of those hangovers from the olden days before bleep.com, iTunes and MySpace; that terrifying era when you had to rely on reviews, rather than your own judgement, to tell you if an album was any good. I wonder if anyone, anywhere, has actually read the sticker on this album before cash has changed hands and the disc is on the doormat.

To make matters worse, the CD is in a cardboard sleeve with a matt finish, so removing the sticker will almost certainly tear half the cover off and/or leave a gluey mess. And the icing on the turd is that it says this:

The Gaurdian? The Gaurdian? So, not only has my nice new CD been ruined with a piece of crass marketing, it’s a piece of crass marketing with a fucking typo. And they wonder why people are switching to free downloads.

Luckily, the album is really good.