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Banter RIP

It’s been a bad week for banter. But I’ve had my suspicions about the concept for a while and should banter suddenly die, as it rightfully must, its passing will not be mourned round my house. It strikes me that banter has changed. It once involved elements of wit and intelligence, perhaps the odd pun [...]

A sizeable post about Roy Hodgson and Liverpool

I’ve never previously written here about Liverpool FC, since I figure not that many people are interested. But I can’t hold back any longer. I have to get it off my chest. So here goes. At the end of last season I felt it was the right time for Rafael Benitez to go. He seemed [...]

USA wins 1-1: Dumb Brits don’t understand subtle American humour

The New York Post’s headline yesterday “USA wins 1-1″, in reference to Saturday’s World Cup match between the USA and England, is actually a subtle joke. I know it’s difficult to grasp the idea that Americans understand humour but the front page actually contains self-deprecation and two amusing historical references. The only reason I mention [...]

World Cup haiku

Warm Bologna night Right foot volley David Platt No penalties Word reached me this week of the High IQ Haiku World Cup Project. I’ve never tried writing haiku before but this idea appealed. They’re inviting haiku relating to the forthcoming World Cup, or to World Cups past. So I went with Italia 90, the first [...]

How to do football journalism

It’s transfer deadline day today. So, what better time to note that football journalism is the one area of the profession where it remains possible to make things up completely off the top of your head and still remain in a job even after the 300th time your byline appears on something that’s complete and [...]

Adrian Chiles’ beard and the psychological observations of Graham Taylor

The growth of a beard obviously signifies a psychological problem within the wearer. Not my words, you understand, but those of former England football manager and beard expert Graham Taylor, who thinks people who “grow beards for no reason” are undergoing some kind of ongoing, possibly catastrophic, mood change. Taylor was talking about Roy Keane, [...]

Hillsborough 20th anniversary feature in the Observer

There’s a remarkable feature in today’s Observer. It’s a series of testimonials about the impact of Hillsborough, twenty years after the disaster. To spend time absorbing these unglossy, first-person statements from six people whose lives have been irrevocably altered by the events of 15 April 1989 is a desperately upsetting experience. Over the years there have been a number of public rent-a-gobs (the late Brian [...]

Manchester City: Cook in the cack, takes Kaka flak

I can’t help but find the whole situation with Man City and Kaka deeply amusing, especially following today’s foot-stamping session from City chief executive Garry Cook. As a Liverpool fan, I’ve never had any particular grudge against City. In fact, the air of genial nuttiness that seems to surround the club and its fans is [...]

Kinnear: Nutter or not?

I was discussing Joe Kinnear’s foul-mouthed press conference tirade with friends over the weekend and have been surprised to find quite a lot of sympathy for the nutter. The popular view, expressed also by football pundits in the past couple of days, seems to be that although he probably went a bit over the top, [...]

Ignorant about equestrianism? Like football? Land Rover thinks you should be covered in horse snot

Since drivers of 4x4s tend to be regarded as braying, selfish, middle class dummies – their penchant for oversized cars that are much too big for the school run barely disguising an inherent bullying streak – I can’t think of a better way for Land Rover to lay this image to rest than by creating [...]

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