Words Dept.: entry

If you ever wanted a snapshot of the mainstream media’s rather depressing agenda and the puerile preoccupations of the public who consume it, you could do worse than searching the phrase #journorequest on Twitter.

I’m not sure what journalists did before Twitter. Maybe they phoned people or something. Nowadays though, all they have to do is type some inane request into Twitter, tag it #journorequest and watch PR companies and wannabes fall over themselves to help out. Maybe.

It’s perhaps a little lazy but the process is, at least, entirely open, which I suppose is an improvement on the days when lifestyle hacks just phoned up their London PR friends when they needed some “real-life” story. Still, it feels weirdly uncomfortable to have the base practices of journalism laid bare for all to see. Most of these requests tend to involve something “saucy” or prurient, or simply reveal journalistic laziness/incompetence (“Does anyone know the PR contact for so-and-so?”, etc.) The cleverer PRs have also realised that they can tout their clients to lazy hacks by re-appropriating #journorequest for their own ends.

Anyway, here’s a selection of my favourite #journorequests from the last few days. They’re presented (mainly) without context or explanation, just as they appear on Twitter.

We’re looking for people who’ve had sex at work for a naughty confessions feature. Any used will be paid. Please get in touch #journorequest

I’m looking for a 13 year old girl who is pregnant for a magazine feature. Please message me if you’re interested #journorequest

Anyone know the press office for Odeon/ Vue cinemas? #journorequest [Dave's tip: Financial Dynamics does the PR for Terra Firma, the private equity firm that owns Odeon; Vue's corporate website lists Clarion Communications as their PR company and provides a phone number]

Seeking women who think they’re absolutely marvellous looking and can’t stop admiring themselves in the mirror #journorequest

Looking for people who have taken the new ‘legal’ high ‘ivory wave’ #journorequest

Anyone out there tried this new recreational drug, ‘Ivory Wave’? It’s meant to be a rival to Meow Meow. Get in touch #journorequest

Ooh – I’m also looking for someone who’s had sex at work – will need to be pictured and identified for #journorequest

#journorequest Tiens Tianshi Toothpaste is launching in UK this September ….DM for more info

Does anyone know who does then PR for Aresnal / The Emirates? #journorequest [Dave's tip: Google > Arsenal Football Club > Contact us > Club switchboard > 020 7619 5003]

Need to find unemployed overweight women who think their weight stops them working. Good fee. DM me. Pls RT. #journorequest

I’m seeking examples of celebs who have had, or are planning to have, a Victorian themed wedding #journorequest

And so it continues. Forever.

By the way, does anyone know where I can find a medium-sized bag of heroin at a reasonable price? #journorequest