Words Dept.: entry

Although I don’t generally comment on pop music and its purveyors, I couldn’t help but observe the hand-wringing over whether or not, technically speaking, the Sugababes – now that yet another member has quit – actually still “exist”.

What’s apparently happened, in case you don’t read the FT, is that the three original members of the band – Barbarella, Chelseigh and Kia-Ora – quit at various times during the last few years. As this gradual “staff turnover” became troublesome to their record label, each of the three was replaced with an alternative croaky-voiced harridan. First came Chantelle, then Shiraz was drafted in, and finally we ended up with… another one.

In other words, none of the original trio remains. Instead, all three have been replaced by a slightly better-looking new model at regular intervals. A bit like you get with Mazdas.

The intriguing possibility here is that the Sugababes, assuming they do still “exist”, could literally never end. Girls Aloud and the like will eventually be ravaged by age but the Sugafranchise will continue. The endgame will be the first mimetic polyalloy member of the group, Candida, who will be parachuted in to replace a defrosted Geri Halliwell in approximately 2180.*

*Yes, this observation is recycled from Twitter. Well spotted.