Words Dept.: entry

I’m a long-standing admirer of Noel Edmonds. How his work in the field of light entertainment hasn’t yet been rewarded with a knighthood is something none of us, I’m sure, can really fathom.

In case you haven’t noticed, the bearded libertarian tossbag (I use these terms in the most respectful way possible) has a new-ish show on Sky 1 called Noel’s HQ. It’s essentially a forum for a baying audience of reactionaries to boo and hiss at bureaucratic meddling, political correctness and the overall “bonkers” nature of modern Britain. It’s like a living, moving version of Richard Littlejohn’s Daily Mail column.

In the most recent episode, screened over the weekend, Noel got a bit “heartfelt” over an incident involving a badly injured soldier, who’d had his plans to build a bungalow thrown out by local planners.

Following a helpful intervention by Keith Chegwin (the natural choice for reading out a dully-worded statement from a local council), Noel’s reaction was to blurt out (even though it was clearly scripted) that he doesn’t actually get paid for the show (the classic Smashie and Nicey “I do a lot of work for charidee” line, in other words) and to name a press officer who had foreseen the boorish tone of proceedings and advised his employer, Wealdon District Council, not to get involved. Then he began to yell at the camera in a most disturbing fashion.

Noel:

I think you’re at the heart of what is wrong with this country!

Cheggers:

Yeah!

It was at this point I was reminded of Alan Partridge and his infamous breakdown, which caused him to stuff his face with chocolate and drive barefoot to Dundee. For Noel, it can surely only be a matter of time.

Watch: