Words Dept.: entry

I can’t help but find the whole situation with Man City and Kaka deeply amusing, especially following today’s foot-stamping session from City chief executive Garry Cook.

As a Liverpool fan, I’ve never had any particular grudge against City. In fact, the air of genial nuttiness that seems to surround the club and its fans is rather endearing. But since they started gobbing off about signing Fernando Torres, Cristiano Ronaldo and Cesc Febregas following the takeover by Abu Dhabi United Group for Development and Investment last year, my antipathy has blossomed.

It’s understandable that a bunch of Arabian billionaires might be a little naïve about the culture and economics of European football but perhaps Cook should know better. He returned from Milan empty-handed today – after admitting never actually speaking to Kaka – and accused Milan of “bottling it”.

We wanted to go through the process in a professional manner; they didn’t want that and were only thinking of money.

This is just a thought, I grant you, but perhaps that’s because some bloke from Manchester landed on the doorstep with a cheque for a hundred million pounds sticking out of his arse pocket.

Cook is a former Nike executive who describes City as a “global franchise entity”. In an unintentionally hilarious profile in the Daily Telegraph last summer, he said:

I worked at a company – Nike – where we were accused of child labour rights issues. I managed to have a career there for 15 years and I believed we were innocent of most of the issues. Morally, I felt confident in that environment.

Of City’s former owner, Thaksin Shinawatra, the former Thai Prime Minister who has been accused of fraud, corruption and human rights abuses, Cook said:

Is he a nice guy? Yes. Is he a great guy to play golf with? Yes.

Meanwhile, Mark Hughes, City’s hapless manager, has been set the unachievable target of fourth place this season and was landed with a clearly puzzled Robinho at a few minutes to midnight on transfer deadline day last autumn. He appears to have had sod-all to do with the Kaka disaster. Instead, he has signed Craig Bellamy for £14m.

To repeat: Craig. Bellamy. Fourteen. Million. Pounds.

How Bellamy’s value has almost doubled in the 18 months since Liverpool sold him to West Ham is deeply perplexing. Given his unpredictable behaviour around team mates – Bellamy once famously twatted John Arne Riise with a golf club – perhaps it’s no surprise that Robinho has done a runner.