Words Dept.: entry

I went to the closing down sale of Danish furniture shop Ilva in Manchester today. Predictably, the place was a lot busier than the two previous times I’ve been there.

When Ilva opened its three UK stores a couple of years ago – in Thurrock, Gateshead and Piccadilly – it was supposed to be the new Ikea. The name and the Scandinavian heritage makes the comparison hideously obvious. As this Piccadilly-promoting website put it when Ilva opened in September 2006:

Move over Ikea, there’s a new player in town. And it’s right on our doorstep too, not an annoying half-an-hour-drive-to-Warrington away.

The problem, and perhaps the reason Ilva’s UK business has gone into administration posting annual losses of £62m, is that it sells stuff that’s a maximum of 20% better in terms of quality and design than Ikea but on average is at least 50% more expensive. And that goes for everything, from sofas to wardrobes to mugs.

Ilva also sells some laughably overpriced rubbish, such as a yellow, banana-shaped sun lounger – made of wicker – that rocks from side to side when you lie on it. If memory serves it was reduced to £114, so Christ knows how much is was before disaster struck. They had at least a hundred to get rid of.

The other problem is that a month after Ilva opened in Piccadilly, Ikea opened a new store eight miles away in Ashton. So there was no need to drive to Warrington to get there after all. Whoops.

And so despite the nice logo, the whole thing was, sadly, doomed to failure. Still, at least I got to exploit the 50% fire sale by extravagantly purchasing some teaspoons for £1.60.