Words Dept.: entry

Another day, another Tory using an absurd racist phrase. This time it’s Lord Dixon Smith, who used the term “n— in the woodpile” in a debate about the Housing and Regeneration Bill in the House of Lords on Monday. The comment, and his apology, is recorded in Hansard.

Looking at the Hansard excerpt, I noticed something interesting. It turns out that if you use the “N-word” in the House of Lords you are allowed to carry on for several minutes with your long-winded speech before anyone pulls you up about it – at which point you are allowed to make a nonsensical apology (“I left my brains behind”) before carrying on making up laws as if nothing has happened. Whereas in Big Brother, for example, you get thrown out immediately.

I suppose it’s a question of perspective. After all, who gives a toss about what happens in the House of Lords? It’s only on telly in the afternoon and isn’t sponsored by Carphone Warehouse.

All of this follows an incident last month where a Tory Welsh Assembly Minister, Alun Cairns, inexplicably blurted out the phrase “greasy wops” in apparent reference to the Italian football team on live radio.

In fairness, it’s not just the Tories who are at it. The “woodpile” phrase was used last month by a Liberal Democrat councillor, Michael Rich, in reference to Nottinghamshire County Council. He was initially unapologetic, claiming the phrase

…is well established in the English language and is in the Oxford English Dictionary…

This suggests “n— in the woodpile” is making a mysterious and unlikely comeback among a newly unrestrained political class. I imagine an under-pressure Yvette Cooper will yelp it out on Newsnight sooner or later, after which it will surely cross into the mainstream and Vernon Kay, that latter day Bruce Forsyth, will adapt it for use as his favoured Saturday night greeting on All Star Family Fortunes.