Slightly threatening “non-threatening” man in funny glasses calling women “girlfriend”, staring at their “bangers” (it means “tits”, rather than “sausages”) and bellowing in a hoarse voice while coercing them into stripping naked in front of two thousand strangers in the Arndale centre? It must be that Gok Wan, off of the Television, who has invented a new language based on his own name and has thus embarked on a one-way ego trip to hell.
I’ve just seen him refer to some women as his “Gokettes”. Way to foster self-esteem, Gok! Ladies, if you attend the nail salon regularly and concentrate deeply on being “on trend”, you too can be elevated to the status of one of Gok’s push-up bra-wearing harem. Boobalicious!
It gets worse. He’s also changed his own first name into a verb, like Google. What is “Gok-ing”? I don’t know. No-one knows.
Here are some other varients of the G-word, which Gok will be using next week:
- Gok-ing hell – exclamation
- Gok off – polite way of saying “fuck off”
- Gok forth and multiply – polite way of saying “Gok off”
- Gok-a-doodle-doo! – exclamation (chicken)
Feel free to add your own.
Value-added information: Gok has a range of glasses at Specsavers. He also holds the record for least interesting guest ever to appear on Friday Night with Jonathan Ross.
The Conversation {2 comments}
My gay flatmate told me that gok slags off his ‘girlfriends’ behind their backs and calls them fat slags. (My flatmate works at marie-claire so it MUST be true…)
“Jesus, Mary and Joseph!”, I hear you exclaim.
Or “Gok, Gok and Gok!” as the man himself would put it.
There’s a whole ‘Gokabulary’ at this site!
http://www.simplygokwan.co.uk/gokabulary.html
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