Words Dept.: archive

Can there be anything more depressing than the new British film Three and Out? I haven’t seen it, of course, because it’s shit. How do I know it’s shit if I haven’t seen it, you ask. Well, just look at the poster (I reply) – in fact, just look at the font used on the [...]

BBC News 24 is dead. It’s a shocking thing but they’ve got rid of the 24 part, so now it’s just “BBC News”.
I’m going to stick my neck out with a controversial statement here: News 24 was actually quite a good name. “BBC News” is just confusing because if you mention it, it isn’t clear [...]

The BBC, or, more specifically, the various contractors it uses to collect TV licenses, have invented something called a “database”. I didn’t know what this meant so I looked it up and apparently it means a structured collection of data that can be accessed by a computer.
According to the hoary female voiceover on the latest [...]

Having spent the last two days off work while having “work done on the house”, I have been exposed to daytime repeats of Homes Under the Hammer and, specifically, presenter Martin Roberts. He’s my new hero.
Never has the phrase “What’s with this guy?” been more apposite than when watching The Blessed Martin. He’s the only [...]

This recent idea – apparently spawned in the Telegraph – that the “disappearance” of Shannon Matthews was a scam based on an episode of Shameless has the feel of a stupid newsroom joke that’s got out of hand.
What actually happened in the episode in question was that Frank Gallagher, the series’ drunken, drug-addled patriarch, claimed [...]

Nicolas Cage is not a dog thief and anyone who accuses him of being a dog thief shall be sued. Unfortunately, Kathleen Turner didn’t realise this. Nor did the Daily Mail, which reproduced extracts from her autobiography in which she falsely labelled Cage as a drunk driver and - uh oh - claimed he stole a dog. Consequently, they have [...]

A couple of very awful things have got me riled this weekend and I can’t work out which is the more dreadful.
One is China’s human rights record and the fact that many of its worst aspects, such as detention without trial, aren’t being reformed despite claims that the Olympics would bring about change.
Which is bad, [...]

I saw Rod Liddle going on about immigration on Question Time last night. He made reference to 
employees from Poland and Romania and Moldavia and all throughout the Eastern Bloc
entering the UK to work.
Hang on a minute… Moldavia? Turning to Google, as one must at such moments, I discovered that unless some crazy Eastern European has invented a [...]