Pete, never fear - the Sun is here

In which the Sun offers Pete Doherty some of the most ill-considered financial advice of all time in an effort to “rescue” him from financial ruin.

Sticks and stones won’t break his bones, but smoking could kill him. It doesn’t help his cashflow and Pete could save nearly £2,000 instantly by kicking the habit.

Removal men also took six acoustic guitars, an accordion and an upright piano from Kate’s house when he was kicked out. We reckon there’s a good £3,500 to be made just from selling his favourite musical instruments.

What? I know it’s July but the Sun would literally have been better off printing a larger-than-average photo of a baby polar bear than running this. Truly awful.

No Rock & Roll Fun tears the piece to shreds here.

And here’s a picture of a baby polar bear.

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