Words Dept.: entry

Jeremy Paxman has provoked a veritable explosion of mild outrage in the papers after daring to question the age-old tradition that blokes with grey hair must always wear a tie while at work. His Newsnight blog suggests ties are now the preserve of “dodgy estate agents” (nothing like a 1980s stereotype to start the day), while numerous aged commenters suggest his position on the matter is an utter disgrace – and they should know because they fought with the 4th Battalion of the King’s Regiment during the Boer war.

I haven’t read all 270+ comments but glancing through, I notice no-one makes the obvious point that ties are essentially a phallic symbol, something exploited for comic effect by the likes of Ricky Gervais (David Brent in The Office is constantly fiddling with his, making explicit the tie’s position as the last sartorial refuge of the woefully useless middle manager).

Now the floods have died down, Wimbledon’s finished, the PM’s bedded in and no-one appears to be plotting a “terrorist outrage”, the papers have wrung the story for all it’s worth. My favourite observation is from Dylan Jones, GQ editor and tedious iPod fetishist, who claims in the Telegraph that “when men do wear ties, it makes them more powerful”. Yes, especially when you wrap them round your head and bellow like a monkey. Feel the power, Dylan. Feel the power.